Colostomy and dating


Earlier this afternoon I was walking along Bay St., here in Toronto, after speaking to a group about Uncover Ostomy.I was wearing my “This is where my ostomy is” tshirt without a jacket, since it was a nice 18 degrees Celsius outside.As I walked past a small group of picketers, I got called over: Obviously, I stopped to explain.Two members of the group seemed quite interested in what I had to say, while another joined in mid-way through my explanation.This guy asked me if I been on TV because he had remembered seeing me.(Yes, I had been and you can click if you haven’t seen it yet).After I finished my explanation, I walked cheerily away, happy to know I had spread some more ostomy awareness. the real honest answer is that it took me 5 years after ostomy surgery to actually be able to date since beforehand, I weighed much more than I do now (thanks to steroids) and was extremely awkward and weird (thanks to being isolated in the hospital without social interaction for 2 years.) But after 5 years of growing into my body and learning how to socialize, the ostomy never, ever, got in the way of my dating life.Lo and behold, I received a message from the UO contact form a few hours later reading: I spent 5 minutes explaining to this guy and a group of his comrades that I shit in a bag (and showed it to them), yet he still managed to check out my website and fill out the contact form just to hit on me. Have I had a hard time finding a guy at all because of it? Since those years, I’ve been asked out multiple times, dated around, and actually been in relationships with a solid number of guys.



In fact, I used to hope that it would be a filtering device to keep the jerks at bay… Anyhow, I have had such luck in the dating scene with an ostomy that I began to wonder why.Over the years, I’ve just kind of figured it’s been because I’ve always been so positive about it.I still wondered, though, how no guy has ever cared about my bag. A lovely girlfriend of mine, new to the Toronto dating scene, decided to sign up for the free online dating site, OKCupid.She showed me how it worked and how she was getting some dates here and there simply from having her profile online.

I’ve always thought online dating was silly, but I thought this was the perfect opportunity to test how my ostomy would be received online. When asked why I was on the site, I answered that I was there “for the laughs.” When asked what the first thing people notice about me was, I said “I don’t know, ask them.” I also specified that guys should only message me if they had a degree and a professional career (lol) and when I was asked what the most private thing I was willing to admit was, I said “Everything. Just Google me.” I basically put up a wall saying “hello, I’m a bitch” but used my pictures to intice them to Google me to come across the ostomy. In between the ridiculous messages from guys trying to be funny (like this guy)…

So, I signed up using my real name as my username, (which is apparently frowned upon but I clearly didn’t care…), filled out my profile in a quick haste, and threw up some pictures. …or antagonistic to win over my attention, (like this guy)…